You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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