I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
