North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
