I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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