I wish I could punch you in the face.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The struggles of a small town man whore
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
