i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
