its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
