I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My bed smells like the plague
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
