he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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