Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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