Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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