She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
