Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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