think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
