I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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