before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
