So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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