haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
