I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
