I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
