Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
