with your own penis?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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