at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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