You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
