yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
