yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
