I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
