I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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