He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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