Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize