We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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