He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
