I will die if light touches me.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
