just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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