the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
