I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
