Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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