Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
