i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
