Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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