dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
