i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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