Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Less talking, more tequila
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
