We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
