i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize