watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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