i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
