Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Green mimosas i think yes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
