Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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