It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
