Plan B is the new Plan A
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
