i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
