How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
