He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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