He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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