Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ambien. No doubt about it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
