and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
