I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My pussy is not your playground.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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