i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
