I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
