i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
