So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
