and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
