Sponge bath it is.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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